Twilight New Year’s resolutions…
Edward: I will not watch people sleep without their permission.
Jacob: I will not kiss people who don’t want to kiss me.
Bella: I will stop being so self-deprecating. I will stop serving others and take some notes from Oprah’s book to put myself first once in awhile.
Rosalie: I will stop obsessing over my beauty and do something to better myself or the world with all my vamp powers.
Alice: I will get the costume designer for New Moon to re-think my wardrobe. I don’t want to be wearing frowzy tents and idiotic smocks in Eclipse!
Renee: I will show everyone there’s more to me than ditzy-headedness.
Charlie: I will learn to cook.
Esmee: I will stop living vicariously through my children.
Carlisle: I will dye my hair a more pleasing shade. This yellow blond has got to go.
Emmett: I will volunteer as a big brother to some of the local kids less fortunate than I…
Jasper: I will stop controlling others emotions and try to start controlling my own.
Jessica: I will stop playing the air-head and repressing my smarts. I will not go to the movies with Bella Swan.
Mike: I will stop falling for girls who treat me like a dog or refer to me as a golden retriever.
Justin: I will no longer accept being a drop of piss in a sea of snow.
Angela: I will join AFEW and denounce PETA.
Leah: I will stop obsessing over being infertile. Who wants a bunch more wolf brats running around the place, anyhow?