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Twilight Character Career Musings

September 11, 2009

This post was inspired by Twilight Series Theories Occupation Speculation? post. Listed below are the careers I envision for the Twilight cast of characters.

Carlisile: When he tired of doctoring, he decided to try his hand at acting. He died his hair brown and was happy to discover Hollywood make-up techniques to hide his deathly pallor. Currently starring in Nurse Jackie as Dr. Cooper.

Esme: Preacher. Founder of Motherism – a matriarchal religion based on the tenets of equality and social justice. Champion of female vampire rights and advocate for no-fault vampire divorce.

Bella: Author. Latest book: Surviving Vampire Culture, or, How I Learned to Balk the Patriarchy. Founder of Vampire Addicts Anonymous.

Edward: Filmmaker. Latest film: Vampires and Masculinity, or, How To be a New Man when You are a Very Old Vampire.

Jacob: Owner of Jake’s Motorcyles for Daring Girls.

Alice: Fashion journalist. Famous for predicting future fashion trends. She recently forecast that the woolfy shoes pictured below would be a big hit with the Team Jacob set.

(With thanks to Forks High School Professor and Idol Chatter for posting about the NY Times Style Magazine piece “Don’t Step on her Toes”)

Jasper: Bouncer. He’s got the right facial expressions for it. And he could lighten the mood when a barroom brawl is about to begin.

Rosalie:  Supermodel. Also serves as host for “American’s Next Vampire Model.”

Emmett: Professional Football Player.

Renesmee: Professor of Vampire Studies.

Leah: Reproductive choice counselor. Active in the reproductive justice movement. Member of NARAL and regular speaker for Feminists for Choice.

Seth: Politician. Supports werewolf rights, same-sex marriage, and equal pay.

Mike: Actor. Starring role in the remake of Fluke.

Eric: Editorial Cartoonist. Focuses in particular on critiquing Asian stereotypes and US racism.

Angela: Psychologist. Works with individuals dangerously addicted to love and romance.

Jessica: Vampire/werewolf divorce lawyer and rape counselor.

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